Peacefully Replaceable

I spent a good portion of last fall studying insecurities. I realized I had a big insecurity about being replaced. I often feel like I am temporarily doing a job waiting for someone to come along and do it better than I can. While the fear and insecurity of this thought pattern is from Satan, God does say we are temporary. We are dust in the wind. We are a second in time. We are here for a short season waiting eternity with Him. In different ways the last few weeks I have been dealing with this insecurity again.

Everyone needs to read this!

Isaiah 41:9-10 I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.

More important than the ways the struggle resurfaced are the ways God brought peace. His peace came through new friendships with Nicaraguans and visitors. Friendships that are based on His steadfastness when we see everything else changing.

Yara is one of my friends in the youth group.
She loves to talk and sing!

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

Hebrews 13:8

I rarely come to full peace without singing. God speaks His truth so clearly to me through song. One of my favorites for the last month Brandon Heath Wait and See. Also, we were blessed with two groups two enjoyed singing and lifted my spirit without even knowing they were. The church too has had strong voices of praise the last few weeks. I am so honored to hear them cry out to our Father.

Two or three mornings a week are spent with my dear friend Caryn. We walk around the city sharing life, laughing, praying and hopefully not tripping. Beginning the day look at His glory makes it easier to see His glory through the day.

Sometimes we take pictures of our faces...

God tells us, “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

Family. Oh my goodness! Mom, Dad and Bridgette got to spend a week in Nicaragua with me! It was incredible. They were able to see and meet my world. They stayed right across the hall. We visited friend’s homes, the cross, Aunt Pat’s grave at the cemetery, a school and a daycare and Eskimo for some good ice cream! Not only were they a huge blessing to my spirit, but they helped with a lot of projects around Jinotega. Ask them more about what they saw or learned or experienced. We barely had time to process; so I bet they could use a little more too!

In the airport! Surprisingly minimal tears :)

Working with Miguel and Ricardo building dugouts at the baseball field!

We hiked to the cross to overlook Jinotega! 

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
Isaiah 54:10

During their visit another need in our family became more evident. My dad's parents are struggling health wise. My grandfather with cancer and new heart/circulation problems, and my grandmother with the strength to be the only constant caregiver after the loses of the last 6 months. I can't in good conscience stay in Jinotega full time while they are hurting and not healing. So as of right now, I am planning to return to the States this week to live with my grandparents for a time. There are other very wonderful people here to continue the work in Jinotega while I go to Fayetteville. I am praying and planning to return to Jinotega in a couple months to honor the rest of my commitment and help the Kingdom here.

“Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you I the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.’" Jeremiah 1:4-5

I am replaceable. Whether I like to think that or not. But we are all children of God. Created by Him to serve Him in different ways every day. He asks us to listen to Him and to follow where He says go. This last week has reminded me how short our time is one place. Earth as a whole and each city or country we begin to call home. He is a faithful provider. I pray you all see that in your lives too! He has already given me such sweet opportunities to spend time with the people I love and given me such a peace about going back. Look at Him. Crushing my insecurities over and over again. 

"For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is. So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him!" Colossians 2:5-6